Life is a Lesson

Believe that the things that you experienced in life were meant to be a journey of learning new things.

Life can be difficult at times. If you look for the passion in your everyday life you can make the difficult times not seem so tough. It is like looking for the silver lining in the cloud that sometimes becomes so dense and thick that we lose ourselves in it.

In times like these it so easy to become cynical. I would love to bitch and moan about how crappie everything has become in the world. But I do not. Partly because it doesn’t do anyone any good and because I have plenty to be thankful for. My family, my health, my friends. Those are all reasons to be grateful.

How we handle adversity makes all the difference. We may not be able to prevent what happens to us, but we can determine what we do about it. They say that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And often times it is you yourself who determines whether you die, survive or thrive.

So many people are living from paycheck to pay check, in danger of living in their cars or having their cars repossessed. Survival for many of us has replaced the hope of the possibility of being happy one day. Even as you are only surviving you have the abilities, tools and possibly the time to earn happiness.

Some people are just getting by, struggling and surviving. Other people are making the necessary sacrifices that will lead to the achievement of their ultimate goal. Happiness is earned by making good decisions that contribute to what you identify as happiness.

The values of being happy and grateful for what you have are values to possess no matter how much money you have and no matter where you live. Our values have a lot to do with how we live.

If we only value money to make us happy we can never be happy for long. Being grateful for having money only leaves you nothing to be grateful if you somehow lose your money.

The things you like have value and being happy means loving and respecting yourself. Doing the things you enjoy doing have value. If you don’t like football, it’s value to you is not as great as the person who loves does love it. Likewise the values of being happy and grateful for what you have.

Many of us in the course of our lives find ourselves in a position where we don’t feel we that we are happy. We are not happy because we weigh too much, we are not happy because we don’t have children, we are not happy because we are struggling financially. Some of us have no control over matters of health and we still must find value in being happy and grateful for what you have.

For some of us our bad habits keep us from realizing the fullest extent of our potential and our greatest capacity for happiness. The values of being happy and grateful for what we have are innate.

So live every day with the passion of knowing that you can make your life into anything that you choose. Reach out to others and show them that you truly care. Life is too short to let the little things upset you.

Be positive, be happy, expect the best from every person every day, and your life will be transformed.

I hope that you all have a wonderfully prosperous week and a Happy New Year!

~Cee~

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Menopause is just like puberty and I don’t have a clue!

Menopause is the time in a woman’s life when her period stops. It is a normal change in a woman’s body. A woman has reached menopause when she has not had a period for 12 months in a row (and there are no other causes, such as pregnancy or illness, for this change).

I read in the paper once that between the year 2005 and 2030 there will be 1 BILLION women going through menopause . . . all at the same time? That’s way too many of us having hot flashes and mood swings all at the exact same moment.

Talk about your weapons of mass destruction!

Menopause is sometimes called, “the change of life.” Leading up to menopause, a woman’s body slowly makes less and less of the hormones estrogen and progesterone. This change often happens between the ages of 45 and 55 years old.

Unfortunately, my menopausal symptoms started years ago and the reason for this (so I’ve been told by my physician) is because I started my period when I had just turned nine years old.

I remember the day vividly, I was just beginning my new school year in the fourth grade at Lockley Elementary. I awoke to get ready for school, went to the bathroom and soon realized that the “Curse” had been bestowed upon me.

Then it hit me!  I had a get out of school free card! So I put on my best crybaby face and went to my Mother and poured my heart out to her.

“Mom, I started my period, I have cramps and my stomach is really upset, I do not think I can go to school today”

So I anxiously await her response, only to hear…

“Go and get one of my PADS girl and I will show you how to put it on”

SHIT!

I mumbled to myself…and off to school I go…me and my Mom’s supersized Stayfree Pillow between my legs! So much for those new WHITE jeans I was going to wear that day!

And yes it was that bad! See, back then Stayfree pads could also be substituted for an extra pillow if you had company over for the night. Yep, all that you had to do was throw a pillow case on that bad boy and you were good to go.

I will be 44 years old on January the 18th and I am not exactly sure what I am looking forward to the most; Retirement or the completion of Menopause…although I must admit that they both turn me on.

Here are some of the lovely symptoms that you yourself can look forward to when the “Curse” hits you.  *smirk*

* The person you sleep with complains about snow piling up on the bed. (Nightsweats)

* Your significant other jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, she is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot her. (Mood swings)

* You write post-it notes with your kid’s names on them. (Memory loss)

* Your significant other chirps, “Hi honey, I’m home.” and you reply, “

Well, if it isn’t Ozzie f*cking Nelson.” (Irritability)

* The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven’s Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest. (Sleeplessness)

* You find Guacamole in your hair after a Mexican dinner. (Fatigue)

* You change your underwear after every sneeze. (Mild incontinence)

* You need Jaws Of Life to help you out of your car after returning home from an Italian restaurant. (Sudden weight gain)

* You ask Jiffy Lube to put you up on a hoist. (Dryness)

* You take a sudden interest in “Wrestlemania”. (Female hormone deficiency)

* You’re on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendales. (Hormone therapy)

HA HA…Welcome to my world!

Now I know without a doubt that my girl loves me with all of her heart because even with the frigid winter temps she allows me to sleep with a fan on…all night…everynight!

AARP has apparently kept track of my age for some time now. They were sending me frequent calls to action in my mailbox long before the magic day, making it clear to the whole world (well, at least my mailman) that I was approaching the golden age.

I think I am going to join to stop the horrific public display of my impending milestone birthday, well at least I will begin receiving their large print glossy magazines for my reading pleasure.

I hope you all have a wonderfully prosperous week!

~Cee~

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Everyone knows the joke about lesbian courtship. “What do two lesbians do on their second date? They rent a U Haul!” Lesbian breakups, on the other hand, are no joke.

As if driven by madness, couples around me have recently been hitting the rocks and tearing asunder with astonishing speed. The spectacle has made me wonder just how well equipped we lesbians are for our own lifestyle.

Sure, breaking up is hard for everybody. But heterosexuals have the advantage of divorce courts to regulate their mating rituals, while gay male couples, although inhabiting the same extra matrimonial zone as lesbians often have more flexible boundaries within the relationship to cushion the moment of exit (like, um, a steady diet of dalliances). Lesbians are not good at splitting up and that is the bottom line.

We need some living structures to provide an alternative to the married bliss (or living hell) of partnered relationships, something other than going it solo. The terror of solitude can’t be underestimated, especially for lesbians from Latin American or other cultures that offer a safety net of intimacy beyond the couple. Maybe we lesbians need some sort of mutual aid society or civic responsibility.

What a shame that lesbians are too busy resting and birthing and going to the clubs to dance and drink to help one another. Not only would some shared nurturing help avert the tragedy of suicide, but it might also keep relationships from crumbling in the first place.

Sure, lesbian breakups may result purely from the problems of each couple. But they also occur within a context of unsupportive families who may never have approved of the relationship in the first place or disrespectful, friends (gay and straight) who don’t want to believe it will last.

It’s time for lesbian breakups to come out of the closet. Canada’s landmark Jane Doe case in May of 2000, in which its supreme court ruled in favor of alimony in a lesbian “divorce” case, thereby providing legal precedent for a whole host of marriage like protections for same-sex couples, should inspire some new thinking.

We do have some good examples to corollaries to the U Haul myth: lesbian ex lovers who become the best of friends, creating expanded kinship systems. A friend of mine, faced with having to leave her longtime home, got unexpected help from an ex and her current partner, who both came to town and lovingly helped her pack up.

Another dilemma that normally proceeds the break up is; who gets to keep the mutual friends? Now wait a minute here, why should anyone be put in the position where they have to “take sides?” I am sure that at least once in your life you have been put into this position, we all have and I personally think it is high school childish bullshit and I refuse to play that game, it’s our house and we pay the rent and we will have whomever I want over. No one is going to tell us we have to do otherwise.

Most times during a break up, tempers are lost and angry ugly things are said to one another. I have always believed that if one would only stop and contemplate what is about to be spewed forth we wouldn’t do it.

The ending of a relationship, for whatever reason, can be one of the most painful experiences that we can go through. Having made ourselves vulnerable by opening our hearts to another and loving to the fullest capacity almost feels spiritual; now it’s been replaced with a crushing sense of loss and emptiness that feels quite devastating. Break-ups on the average generally aren’t very nice, let’s face it, there’s a reason why you broke up, right?

Okay then, things didn’t work out, it’s all your fault if you talk to the other person even though you know you both had parts to play, yet still, animosity. Why? Why do we need to torment one another when things don’t work out?

The length of time together, the quality of the relationship, and the level of emotional investment in it all determine the intensity of the grief experienced when you and your lover part ways.

So maybe the best thing to do when a break up is eminent is to just remember what your grand mother always told you;

“If you cannot say anything nice, do not say anything at all”

I hope you all have a wonderfully prosperous week!

~Cee~