July 2007
NAZI USA 2007
I watched a movie on LOGO called “BENT” which was originally deemed a screen play about the NAZI concentration camps, it depicted what life was like for gays accused or otherwise and it really got me thinking, does today’s society really treat us any differently? Granted the actual concentration camps are long gone but the discrimination is still very much alive.
In the movie, a gay man lies about his sexual status, he portrays himself as a JEW and not a HOMOSEXUAL merely to stay alive. So instead of a PINK TRIANGLE he is given the JEWISH STAR to wear on his uniform. His job in the camp is to move piles of rocks from one area to another then back again, and the only purpose it serves is to drive him insane.
He meets and befriends another gay man and bribes an SS guard to get his friend the same job. For two hours they work non stop only receiving a two minute break each two hours, they must stand at attention, they cannot sit, touch or look at one another.
And although they cannot touch or look at one another because they will be killed if caught they each develop love for one another, and in the end they both died horrible deaths because of their sexual orientation. This situation still rings true for gays and lesbians today, if we walk through a store or a park holding our partners hand or if we dare kiss them in public we still get the stares and the giggles or hear the snide whispered comments. And there are still men and women being murdered or maimed because of their sexual preference.
So is it really any different? Has the Gay and Lesbian Movement really gained much momentum? We are still turned down for jobs, we are still denied the right to legally marry, adopt, receive same sex health benefits and the list goes on and on.
Bush states that he is for equal rights for ALL and doesn’t appose same sex health benefits but he isn’t on the forefront fighting for our right to marry either. And one would think that because his Vise President is the parent of a lesbian daughter that the Bush administration would have gotten more accomplished than what they did.
Is Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton preparing to endorse gay marriage? Her advisers say no – she supports civil unions only – and gay rights advocates who work with Mrs. Clinton say she has not promised them anything. Yet these advocates also say that Mrs. Clinton is inching, in her famously incremental way, toward a policy position that might at least open the door to gay marriage.
Mrs. Clinton, who is courting the gay vote more than any other presidential candidate at this point and she does this because we are a force to be reckoned with, our numbers are not necessarily growing, I believe it is because more of us have adopted that “I don’t give a shit what people think anymore attitude”, making it more “comfortable” for other gays and lesbians to jump on the bandwagon…”Safety in Numbers”. If Hillary gets elected to the presidential office do you think she will pave the bumpy road for a smooth ride?
Gays and Lesbians must abide by the same rules and regulations as any other American, we have to pay taxes, obey the laws but yet we are still the most discriminated against group of people by far. Isn’t the Constitution supposed to apply to us as well? Although they were not “out” many Gay Americans fought and died for the same rights that we are denied, they were good enough to serve their country and lose their lives in the process but not good enough to be treated as equal citizens. “United We Stand” and the only “Division” that exists that I can see is the distance between Gays and Lesbians” and the rights given to ALL Americans by the creation of that document called the “Constitution”…it doesn’t seem to apply to us does it?
I would like to close this week by giving you all a little history lesson on the origins of the symbols that apply and have applied to our community.
I hope you all have a wonderfully prosperous week!
~Cee~
In recent years the PINK TRIANGLE has been widely adopted by individuals and gay organizations around the world as a symbol of gay visibility and gay resistance. Used by the Nazis to identify homosexual prisoners in German concentration camps, it is a powerful reminder of a grim episode in the history of gay oppression.
The BLACK TRIANGLE is a lesbian or feminist symbol of pride and solidarity. The symbol originates from Nazi concentration camps, where every prisoner had to wear one of the Nazi concentration camp badges on their jacket, the color of which categorized them according “their kind”. Individuals deemed “asocial” had to wear the black triangle. The majority of black-triangle prisoners were mentally retarded or homeless. But smaller groups of prisoners were also given this badge, including alcoholics, the habitually “work shy”, prostitutes, and others
The RAINBOW FLAG, sometimes called THE FREEDOM FLAG, has been used as a symbol of LGBT pride and a representation of the LGBT social movements since the 1970’s. The different colors symbolize diversity in the LGBT community, and the flag is often used as a symbol of gay pride in LGBT rights marches. It originated in the United States, but is now used around the world.
The rainbow flag was popularized as a symbol of gay pride and diversity by San Francisco artist Gilbert Baker in 1978.[1] As of 2006, it consists of six colored stripes of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and violet. It is most commonly flown with the red stripe on top, as the colors appear in a natural rainbow.
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Wo-Man-Ipulators
We all have the ability to “Manipulate” the people and situations around us and we all do, we just may not realize that we are because it has become so common place whilst we go about our daily lives.
When we are children we manipulate to get our way, we put on that adorable smile or do more than our “chores” then remind our parents of our accomplishments when we see something we want at the store, and who cares if mom doesn’t really have the money and she or our brothers and sisters may have to “go without”…we want it and will do whatever it takes to get it.
I have experienced more manipulation and abuse from women than I have any man. Most of what I have experienced has been verbal and mental, only once have hands that were supposed to love and protect me physically hurt me.
I have been physically and verbally beat into submission, denied sleep, been forced to quit jobs, sever ties with friends and so on. I have friends who intentionally hurt themselves because it is the only way they know how to deal with the everyday pain the feel inside. They must account for every moment they are away from their partner, explain every phone call or every friend they run into on the street.
Years ago when I lived in Warren, a very close friend of mine took her own life because her girlfriend constantly made her feel like shit. They had a huge fight and Kristin overdosed on her girlfriends anti-depression med’s and a twelve pack of Miller and never woke up, she was in her early twenties. I miss her just as much today as I did the day it happened and always will.
Very close friends of ours are and will continue to go through an ongoing battle with an ex because there is a child involved. J (the ex) and K had a child “together”. K and G have been together for 4 years now and both have been closely involved in this child’s life and both love her with all of their hearts. But because J hates the fact that K moved on and is happy with G she constantly makes K feel like Gumby re-incarnated which in turn pisses G off. J will continue to MANIPULATE and that little girl will suffer horribly…and believe me when I tell you that she will NEVER forget.
Manipulators have a million and one reasons and excuses to justify their behavior, they have been cheated on, robbed, lied too, smacked around, grew up in an abusive or alcoholic home…most times both. And my response to that is “That’s a crock of shit so sell it to someone who will buy it because I don’t”.
Let me tell you about growing up in an abusive home, in 1971 I came home from school, walked in the house and witnessed my brother’s father beating my mother to a bloody pulp, the only white I remember on her face was where her tears had been falling, she spent months in the hospital recovering physically…mentally I do not believe she ever got over it. Two years later at the age of 9 step daddy 3 repeatedly molested me for over 6 months until I had the courage to tell my grandmother, then and only then did it stop. I remember those incidents like they happened yesterday and not a day goes by where I do not think about it and my screwed up childhood didn’t make me want to grow up to be an abuser or a molester.
I have talked about my past relationship with a controlling…lying…manipulative bully and the abuse I and my daughter endured in that 3 year relationship but the bottom line is that it’s ALL on me…I “allowed” it. I could have stopped it but I didn’t, and since getting away I have thought a lot about it and the reasons why I allowed it to continue for so long and the only conclusion I can come up with is that I didn’t have much “self worth”.
Maybe I didn’t have the capacity to maintain that self worth because I was constantly made to feel like I wasn’t worth anything. Even though by nature I am a strong woman, I just got to the point where it was easier to “give up”. So I stopped answering the phone and the door, I didn’t return phone calls. I “Enabled” my manipulator, I was a major contributing factor to my own abuse…I was my own worst enemy.
Why do we as women feel like we have to stay, even if we are miserable? Why do we feel like we are not worth anything? Why don’t we want better for ourselves? Why do we become hypocrites? We feel bad for our friends who are involved in manipulating and or abusive relationships and tell them they should do something about it all while throwing a blanket over the “mirror” so we don’t have to look at ourselves and face the truth…the truth hurts, maybe that is why most of us go through life with blinders on.
Here’s a little experiment for you, set a week aside and keep track of how many times you “manipulate”, write all of the incidents down, no matter how subtle you might think they are…you might be surprised to see how much you manipulate.
I hope you all have a wonderfully prosperous week!
~Cee~
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“Happy Fat”
True love is not the romance and flowers bullshit that we are taught from day one to believe in. True love is the friend who is there, no questions asked. True love is the girlfriend who takes care of you and puts up with your continual whining…even though she has a million and one things to do now that your sick and are unable to pull your weight and the only thing you seem to be able to accomplish is to lay there like a limp wet noodle. True love is blind, or in my opinion very nearsighted. True love is…”HAPPY FAT”.
You and your girl decide to go out one Saturday night and you want to look really sexy for her so you get out your button fly Levi’s…you know the ones that she thinks your ass looks really hot in?
So you get your shower, and start to get ready, with your socks already on you start slipping your legs into those favorite jeans…and start pulling them up, only problem is that they won’t go over your fat ass…”What the…they fit the last time!”.
So immediately you take them off and run to the basement in your bra, panties and socks (getting the sexy visual?) and throw them in the washer for a quick rinse/spin then damp dry cause everyone knows that damp fabrics STRETTTCCCHHHHH…sure they do…HA HA!!
So with jeans in hand you look up to the Heavens and mutter to yourself…”Please God…” and proceed ahead with your second attempt. Feet in, up the legs…up over the built in “Speed Bumps” more commonly known as “More Cushion for the Pushin”…breathing in a huge sigh of relief you get them on but you still have to get them buttoned. HA HA!! You have a better chance of seeing GOD!
It isn’t happening and you know it so swallowing your pride you reluctantly accept defeat and fall back on the bed…SUCK IT IN…and button them, then say another little prayer before you TRY to get up. Did I mention you should probably put your shoes on when you first get your legs in? Well if you don’t, you won’t be able to bend over to tie them. Oh yeah and don’t drink a lot when you go out cause if you do you will have to make frequent bathroom visits and if that happens…can you say…”You’re screwed?”.
Now my girlfriend is very petite, she is barely a size 6 and I am a …anyhow…back to my story. Over the last few years she has lost 95 pounds and I am so very proud of her. She eats very healthy and as for me…What? Pizza is healthy!
Ahhh…I love those late night romantic evenings alone, the kid is in bed, we pop a movie in, cuddle and…”Honey, do you think the pizza is done?…and could you please move your arm you are crushing my Cheeto’s”. Yep, that’s me, I love pizza. I eat so much pizza you would think my genes regenerated from Irish to Italian, hmm, maybe there was something to that “Milkman story”.
I just love sauce in general, I noticed a new pimple the other day and from a certain angle it remotely resembled a tomato…interesting huh?
So Greener and I were talking a few days ago and “Happy Fat” came up, we both admitted that maybe we needed to make some personal changes…stop smoking…lose weight…start exercising. Yeah EXERCISE! Greener said we could start walking in the morning when she gets home from work, I mean we only live a block and a half away from one another so that would be convenient and when I energetically agree her response is…”Okay we will start next year”…what a smart ass.
Happy fat is “Contentment”, it’s knowing that you are loved unconditionally…even if you do overflow the bath tub when you join her. Happy Fat is packing away the Levi’s and busting out the Nike and Adidas (All day I dream about SAUCE) jogging pants. Happy Fat is avoiding the mirrors when you are naked…especially during sex. Happy Fat is about being able to turn the thermostat way down in the winter because technically you would be able to keep a small Eskimo clan warm if you cuddled with them…and just think about the money you would save with the gas bill.
Okay so my Pizza is about done so I am going to accept defeat…”SMILE”
I hope you all have a wonderfully prosperous week!
~Cee Cee~
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